Tag Archives: female friendships

You’ve Got a Friend

MWF Seeking BFF [Married White Female Seeking Best Friend Forever]: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend by Rachel Bertsche (Ballantine Books, $15.00, 384 pages)

Rachel Bertsche finds more than just friendship in her fun and spunky memoir MWF Seeking BFF.

Having recently moved away from her best friends in New York to start a new life with her husband in Chicago, Rachel Bertsche is having a difficult time making new, meaningful friendships.   She loves spending time with her husband but acknowledges the importance of hanging out with her friends and the loss she feels without her best friends forever available on a regular basis.   So after a year of waiting, she decides to set off in pursuit of a new BFF.   Her goal is to have 52 “girl dates” over the course of one year and she’s willing to try just about anything to make the right connections.

Bertsche writes with blatant honesty as she posts a want ad, joins a self-improvement class and seeks out friendships in each and every possible situation.   Along her journey of friend-seeking, the reader will enjoy not only her diary of weekly dates but also her insight as she learns about more than just the importance of having a BFF.

Bertsche’s prose is clear, direct and refreshing and the accounts and reflection of her “dates” are stories everyone can relate to (and some are just downright hilarious).   Her insights are laden with relevant references to friendship-related studies and as a data gal myself, I was highly entertained with her extensive research and statistics that are brilliantly interspersed along her stories.   Bertsche delights the reader by quoting social scientists, psychologists, professors and authors that she considers experts in the field of social interaction-friendships.

I truly enjoy reading stories and memoirs that motivate the reader to do a bit of soul-searching and encourage us to step outside of our personal comfort zone.   Having recently moved to a new area myself (just outside of the Chicago area, ironically), I sympathized with her struggle to make new friendships as a married adult.   She provides great ideas on how to think outside of the box and be open to friendships in every venue.   After reading this novel, I have a newfound love for my own book club and current friendships.   I recently started a club of potential BFFs in my new hometown.

What are you doing to broaden your group of friends?   Read this playful memoir for inspiration!

Well recommended.

Kelly Monson

A review copy was provided by the publisher.  

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Coming Up Next…

A review of MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend by Rachel Bertsche.

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Ain’t She Sweet

How to Eat a Cupcake: A Novel by Meg Donohue (Harper, $13.99, 320 pages)

Meg Donahue’s debut novel How to Eat a Cupcake is a delicious treat!

Annie Quintana, is an eccentric, artistic woman raised by her mother, a housekeeper and caretaker for a wealthy family in San Francisco.   Julia St. Clair, an astute, beautiful businesswoman, is the daughter of this fortunate family.   She grew up alongside Annie.   Estranged since high school due to a life-changing betrayal the girls are reunited when Annie, now a talented baker with a gift for creating unique cupcake flavors, brings desert to the St. Clair’s for a benefit event.

Julia, needing a project to create a distraction from a secret she is keeping from her betrothed, offers to finance and temporarily manage the business of a cupcakery for Annie.   Annie, still healing from her mother’s death, agrees to the partnership in order to fulfill her dream and follow in her mother’s baking footsteps.   Together Annie and Julie are forced to work together on a daily basis and put the past behind them.   However, when a series of vandalisms threatens to close down their shop, the women are not only forced to deal with their past, but embrace the secrets that surface and redefine the importance of friendship and family.

Donohue presents an interesting storyline with prose as vibrant and satisfying as a great recipe.   She layers her story with multidimensional characters and intertwining plots, most of which are unpredictable and maintain the reader’s interest throughout the story until it’s resolved in the end.

Donohue touches upon the complexities of social class and friendships and demonstrates how impressions and relationships change and that family bonds – no matter how they are defined – can withstand the test of time.

How to Eat a Cupcake is a delightful read and although a few of the scenes seem a bit farfetched, the typical reader will enjoy the novel to the very end.   If the storyline does not seem appealing, you will undoubtedly enjoy the book based on the detailed descriptions of the exotic cupcake flavors alone.   So get real comfy with your favorite latte and grab a rich cupcake because this mouth-watering novel is well recommended!

Kelly Monson

A review copy was provided by the publisher.   

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The Stuff That Dreams Are Made Of

The Girls from Ames: A Story of Women & a Forty-Year Friendship by Jeffrey Zaslow (Gotham Reprint, $16.00, 352 pages)

“There were times…  when Kelly felt desperate, confused and shattered.   But she also embraced and loved.   And that sustained her.”

There are books that you read, and put down because they are not what you expected.   This is a book that you will read and occasionally put down for another reason – in order not to finish it too quickly.   It is a book to savor and embrace, whether you are female or male.

This is a nonfiction tribute to a 40-year-old friendship among the 10 surviving members of an 11-member high school clique.   They are a group of women who “reached maturity in the age when feminism was blooming.”   They grew up with the theme of empowerment resounding in the air.   Consider that on TV they watched not “I Love Lucy” or “Father Knows Best” but instead “Wonder Woman,” “Bionic Woman” and “Charlie’s Angels.”

The original group of 11 girls – Karla, Kelly, Marilyn, Jane, Jenny, Karen, Cathy, Angela, Sally, Diana and Sheila – grew up in the relatively small community of Ames, Iowa; a place where they were literally surrounded by corn fields.   The corn there grows so high that it can hide cars.

This is a telling of the lives of this group (a real-life version of the story told in Mary McCarthy’s novel The Group) and their lives are touched with successes, tragedy, divorce, illness and death.   The outgoing Sheila was to die in her twenties under strange circumstances that have never been fully resolved.   In addition, the children of the group members have been affected by serious illness and two members of the remaining group have battled breast cancer.   On the flip side, a member of the group first became a mother at the age of 45.

“Having a close group of friends helps people sleep better, improve their immune systems, boost their self-esteem, stave off dementia, and actually live longer.   The Ames girls just feel the benefits in their guts.”

This book does its best in focusing on why it is vital for women “to nurture female friendships.”   We’re told, for example, “Research shows that women with advanced breast cancer have better survival rates if they have close friends.”   The matter of the peace and acceptance that accompanies aging is also well noted in The Girls From Ames.   “By their mid-forties, women know they’re at a crossroads.   They are still holding on to their younger selves, but they can also see their older selves pretty clearly.”

The one aspect of the book that may be slightly troubling is that males, particularly husbands and fathers, tend to come off as pale by comparison.   The men in the lives of these women are depicted as not being highly communicative, especially among other men (that is not how they get their needs met), and yet they are generally well-loved.   At one point the women of the group are asked to rate their husbands/partners, and the average score came out to 8.2 on a 10-point scale.   All in all, a very good score!

One man was asked to consider reading this book and he declined sending this message via e-mail:  “Unfortunately, I do not have plans to read the book, but please convey to the girls from Ames that I think they are pretty hot.”   That was from Tom (60 years old) in Ohio.

The girls from Ames are now mothers and female role models in their own communities.   But most of all they remain the best of friends.   They are friends, survivors and a mutual support network.   They have all been battered a bit by life and, except for the still greatly missed Sheila, they have made it through.

This would be a great selection for almost any book club, even one that includes a male or two.   The very best news is that the story of the women from Ames will continue.   The 13 daughters of the 10 women are extremely good friends.   Bravo!

Highly recommended.

Joseph Arellano

This book was purchased by the reviewer.   This review is dedicated to the memory of Jeffrey Lloyd Zaslow, who was killed in an auto accident on February 10, 2012.

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Another Summer Reading List

Back on June 13th, we posted a list of 10 books comprising part of our summer reading list.   Now, here’s a listing of 11 additional books that you might put in your Summer beach bag or your Winter vacation suitcase!

Northwest Corner: A Novel by John Burnham Schwartz

The new “great American novel” (Abraham Verghese) from the author of Reservation Road and The Commoner.   (Random House, July)

The Destiny of the Republic by Candice Millard

The amazing true and suspenseful story behind the assassination of President James A. Garfield, and the attempts of a genius inventor (Alexander Graham Bell) to save his life.   (Doubleday, September)

Pinch Me: A Novel by Adena Halpern

A young woman whose family has always warned her to stay away from perfectly handsome men receives a proposal of marriage from a man who is sadly “perfect.”   (Touchstone Books, July)

The Vault: A Novel by Boyd Morrison

The author who proved that self-published writers could sell books like his novel The Ark is back with a thriller.   In The Vault, a group of terrorists are determined to use the secrets of King Midas for their destructive purposes.   (Touchstone Books, July)

Requiem for a Gypsy by Michael Genelin

This is the latest Jana Matinova Investigation from Michael Genelin, who has been called “the Tom Clancy of International Intrigue.”   The Pittsburg Post-Gazette noted that this former prosecutor, “seems incapable of writing a dull page.”   (Soho Crime, July)

The Grief of Others: A Novel by Leah Hagen Cohen

This novel is about a couple that strives to return to  normalcy after their baby dies just a day and  a half after his birth.   Can the Ryries and their two children rebuild their formerly happy and peaceful existence?   (Riverhead Hardcover, September)

No Rest for the Dead: A Novel by 26 writers

A murder mystery is written in 26 chapters by 26 different, prominent authors.   It’s an almost irresistable concept and, even better, it is set in San Francisco.   (Touchstone, July)

The Train of Small Mercies by David Rowell

A novel set aboard the funeral train that carried Robert F. Kennedy to Arlington Cemetery.   (Putnam Books, October)

Mercy Come Morning by Lisa T. Berger

A female history professor travels to Taos, New Mexico to be with her mother who is dying of heart failure.   (Waterbrook Press, August)

The Art of Saying Goodbye by Ellyn Bache

Four women come to re-evaluate their lives in light of the knowledge that the most popular woman in the neighborhood is dying of cancer.   “…a glimpse into the lives of (an) intertwined group of women and their everlasting, complicated friendships.”   New York Journal of Books   (William Morrow, June)

Love Lies Bleeding by Jess Mcconkey

A golden girl has a perfect life until a random act of violence seems to change everything.   Is she going insane or has the world suddenly become hostile?   (William Morrow, July)

Joseph Arellano

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Embraced and loved

The Girls from Ames: A Story of Women & a Forty-Year Friendship by Jeffrey Zaslow

“There were times…  when Kelly felt desperate, confused and shattered.   But she also felt embraced and loved.   And that sustained her.”

There are books that you read, and put down because they are not what you expected.   This is a book that you will read and occasionally put down for another reason – in order not to finish it too quickly.   It is a book to savor and embrace, whether you are female or male.

This is a nonfiction tribute to a 40-year-old friendship among the 10 surviving members of an 11-member high school clique.   They are a group of women who “reached maturity in the age when feminism was blooming.”   They grew up with the theme of empowerment resounding in the air.   Consider that on TV they watched not “I Love Lucy” or “Father Knows Best” but instead “Wonder Woman”, “Bionic Woman” and “Charlie’s Angels.”

The original group of 11 girls – Karla, Kelly, Marilyn, Jane, Jenny, Karen, Cathy, Angela, Sally, Diana and Sheila – grew up in the relatively small community of Ames, Iowa; a place where they were literally surrounded by corn fields.   The corn there grows so high that it can hide cars.

This is a telling of the lives of this group (a real-life version of the story told in the novel The Group) and their lives are touched with successes, tragedy, divorce, illness and death.   The outgoing Sheila was to die in her twenties under strange circumstances that have never fully been resolved.   In addition, the children of the group members have been affected by serious illness and two members of the remaining group have battled breast cancer.   On the flip side, a member of the group first became a mother at the age of 45.

“Having a close group of friends helps people sleep better, improve their immune systems, boost their self-esteem, stave off dementia, and actually live longer.   The Ames girls just feel the benefits in their guts.”

This book does its best in focusing on why it is vital for women “to nurture female friendships.”   We’re told, for example, “Research shows that women with advanced breast cancer have better survival rates if they have close friends.”   The matter of the peace and acceptance that accompanies aging is also well noted in The Girls from Ames.   “By their mid-forties, women know they’re at a crossroads.   They are still holding on to their younger selves, but they can also see their older selves pretty clearly.”

The one aspect of the book that may be slightly troubling is that males, particularly husbands and fathers, tend to come off as pale by comparison.   The men in the lives of these women are depicted as not being highly communicative, especially among other men (that is not how they get their needs met), and yet, they are generally well-loved.   At one point the women of the group are asked to rate their husbands/partners, and the average score came out to 8.2 on a 10-point scale.   All in all, a very good score!

One man was asked to consider reading this book and he declined sending this message via e-mail:  “Unfortunately, I do not have plans to read the book, but please convey to the girls from Ames that I think they are pretty hot.”   That was from Tom (60 years old) in Ohio.

The girls from Ames are now mothers and female role models in their own communities.   But most of all they remain the best of friends.   They are friends, survivors and a mutual support network.   They have all been battered a bit by life and, except for the still greatly missed Sheila, they have made it through.

This would be a great selection for almost any book club, even one that includes a male or two.   The very best news is that the story of the women from Ames will continue.   The 13 daughters of the 10 women are extremely good friends.   Bravo!

Highly recommended.

Joseph Arellano

This book was purchased by the reviewer.

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